For the last week, in my spare time, I’ve been watching reruns of Sex and the City, which is kind of like visiting an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. After a bit of chit chat, it doesn’t take long before you feel as if you have never been apart. I’d forgotten many of the episodes, Samantha dealing with breast cancer, Miranda looking after Steve’s mother, Charlotte going through IVF and Carrie’s short-lived affair with another writer. Everyday problems which could happen to any of us. In my opinion, that was why the show was so successful. The sex was the glitter sprinkled liberally around what are sometimes difficult issues to discuss and sometimes simple girl talk we all could relate to.
As I watched I couldn’t help but wonder what the girls would have done if, like me, they were single in their fifties. I doubt they would still be doing the rounds of trendy bars and clubs, which are really the territory of the young and nubile. Cafés and restaurants perhaps, but in her late fifties I don’t think even Samantha could bring home any of the young, sexy waiters. And would she want to anyway?
No matter how well you look after yourself, unless you have undergone surgical procedures and filled yourself with Botox, it’s unlikely your body is the same as it was in your twenties or thirties. I shouldn’t generalise, but this is true of my body. Maybe every other fifty something single woman has the same drop dead gorgeous, firm body they had in their youth, but I doubt it. Much of the appeal of the sex in Sex and the City, was the images of intertwined sleek, well-kept bodies. Very few people want to watch wrinkles and saggy flesh jiggling up and down together, in my opinion.
After fourteen years of being single, I’m toying with the idea of finding a partner again. Over a few wines with a friend, I listed the qualities I’m looking for in a man. My friend laughed and suggested I’m looking for a unicorn. Apparently, she doesn’t believe I will be able to find any man around my age who physically looks after himself, and can have an intelligent conversation, and is caring, thoughtful and honest, with a sense of humour as well as being financially secure. Oh, I’d also prefer someone over 6’4” who doesn’t like fishing, camping and the great outdoors. My idea of camping is lazing around the pool at a five-star hotel.
What I’m missing is that small group of close friends who are also single and looking. I don’t have a selection of wing women to choose from. Most of my good friends in Melbourne have partners and are loathe to go out without them. Which leaves me on my own. I have yet to work out where I will begin to look for my unicorn.
According to the 2016 Census, 30% of Melbourne’s population is aged over 50. There are approximately 239,000 males between the ages of 55 – 64 and 254,300 females. That’s not good. However, I’m open to dating a toy boy, which I believe only improves my chances. We shall see.